Ghetto is where the Romans placed European Jews back in the day. So, since I'm talking to ya'll Christians I will use the word 'Hood'.
U know you are CORPORATE Hood Christian if the following are true:
1. You don't officially start working in the morning until you read your emails.
2. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafeteria workers, one of them had asked you for a date.
3. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what you are doing for the weekend.
4. You eat sunflower seeds at your desk.
5. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you didn't answer your phone quick enough.
6. You paint your nails at your desk.
7. When you are on a personal call you laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.
8. On casual Friday, you wear your best Pelle Pelle, Tommy Hilfiger, DKNY shirts and jeans (ladies - tightest jeans) everyone in your office thinks you are advertising for them.
9. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the club.
10. You talk about how much money you make.
11. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, "Let me speak to my Mama"
12. You give your out-of-town friends your company's 1-800 number.
13. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several times out loud.
14. Coworkers inquire how your father's surgery went that required you to be out for days and you haven't seen your daddy since he left your momma when you were born.
15. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your letters to your mate in the penitentiary.
16. Your kid's school supplies all have your company insignia on them.
17. You can't function straight when the batteries go dead in your desk radio.
18. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up your paycheck.
19. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take a platter of lunchmeat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.
20. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe the chicken grease off the handset.
21. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday.
22. You don't like your supervisor and a couple other coworkers and you tell them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven't been promoted.
23. You get your haircut/hair done on lunch and come back two hours later.
24. You cuss your creditors out for calling you at work.
25. You come to work on Friday's dressed for the club.
26. If you are sitting there reading this instead of getting your work done